living_memes | tl;cr meme

tl;cr meme

STEP ONE: Post with your character!
STEP TWO: Respond to other people's characters with your characters. They will then tell you, in detail, what their character thinks of yours -- and as per the meme's title, tl;dr is encouraged, but not necessary! Don't be afraid to ask others for their characters' first impressions of yours as well.
STEP THREE: Write out tl;dr for whoever comments to you in return.
STEP FOUR: Chat with each other in mutual joy/horror/disgust/delight/confusion at where your CR has gone!
BONUS: Use this for writing up CR charts, or if you already have them written, link to them!

(Stolen shamelessly from the Far Shore)

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HIT ME

LOL GOD MAN you know i could talk about these two for fucking ever. i dont want to play by play their entire history because like wE WERE BOTH THERE so ill focus on just...the fallout of Right Now and whats on tims mind currently in regards to this tiny child because he has concerns, manifold and variegated and all over the fucking map.

he did view them showing up in LA as a good thing in a lot of ways, because it meant that there was still...time, so to speak, for them to find reasons to stay. and he's definitely aware that they have reasons - that theyve gotten attached, that theyve made friends. they have people theyre close to and theyve expanded this pool of people that they never wouldve met if their plan had out and out succeeded. the downside there is that theres still this conscious "well i cant get TOO attached" that was constantly at play. and since they did offer to let him come with, that extended to tims own perception of things here. he could afford to burn bridges, because this was only ever temporary. he could afford to fuck up, because those fuck ups will be wiped away. there was something liberating in that.

but it was far from ideal, and there was a definite pullback away from that at the same time - tim making these tiny attempts to anchor himself in the community, engage in these longterm projects that suggest that he's not as ready to let go as he once thought. this isnt necessarily conscious on his part, and its definitely not him living for himself. he has never lived for himself. he lives for other people, and he lives for their benefit. and at least at first, it was mostly for chara and frisk's collective benefit.

consciously he knows that chara does care, that they in fact give many shits about many of the people around them. theyre inclined toward compassion by nature and they dont know, necessarily, how to love in quiet gentle ways because their love is always this self-sacrificial thing or so brushed over that its easily denied. his mental mantra, especially in the starting months, was that he was their cover story. he was a cover story. he was an adult that could keep people from poking in too close, because two kids living alone is way more liable to get unwanted visitors and questions than the visual of one guy taking care of a couple of kids, even if hes pretty obviously not too good at it. and with this sort of constant pressure in the undercurrent of his thoughts, he could dismiss and undercut any genuine worth he might have to them besides that, and make it easier to decouple himself. hes not lup. hes not wade. hes not sans. hes just some fuck who they didnt want in their soul, who used them without asking and is still dealing with the fallout of it, and theyre making connections with people who are so much better than he is.

its this kind of distorted thinking that has tim feeling simultaneously relieved and gutted, kind of in the same way he was when brian disappeared off the map - he wasn't aware that this was because brian was in some cryptic shit, but rather just assumed that this was because brian had found better, healthier people to be around, and was no longer weighing himself down with a toxic piece of shit like tim. and he would call himself selfish for wishing his best friend was still around.

he wants to be better for them. he wants to be better, because they deserve so much better than he has to give, in his mind. but hes also constantly weighed down by his bottomed-out self-esteem and the fact that hes so very new at assuming even a nominal caretaking position.

part of it has to do that chara is a kid. an even bigger part of it is the fact that chara reminds him of himself, at that age. he can admire them for metabolizing their fear into something productive in a way he never could, but he can also recognize that this easily becomes something self-destructive. he grew up repressing so much of himself, shrinking and compressing everything he was down into a scared little boy because that was the most acceptable thing, that was something doctors could recognize and accept and therefore approve on some level, because if youre angry and lashing out no one will listen to you. so he grew up squishing all his anger down into the sarcastic, concentrated bitterness that he is today, something that's "acceptable" and palatable, and he knows thats fucking torturous. being taught that anger is this ugly, unacceptable thing fucked him up over time, which is why he fights so hard for chara to allow themself to be angry without regarding it as something murderous and horrible and fundamentally bad.

but thats the thing, see. the fact that tim wants to be better. even if he doesnt believe he can be, this might be the first time hes ever actually wanted to be a better person than he was. when he was working with jay, when he was friends with brian - the notable highlights of his bleak-ass canon - there was still this sense of "im garbage and theyre doing this out of necessity/compassion/care and theres no point in pretending otherwise" so he was still subject to the same toxic shit that could make him a deeply unpleasant person to be around in a familiar self-destructive, self-defeating loop narrative. chara might be the first person in tim's life thats had him, upon realizing that hes done something wrong, taking note of it to better himself over it instead of jotting it down as a sore point to use for his own purposes as he would ordinarily - and as he once did to them.

he wants to be part of their life, but he also believes, very deeply, that his role in their life isnt a good one, and that theyre better off moving forward. he cant help but selfishly wish that he could remain in their life in this weird almost nurturing capacity, even if hes very clearly not cut out for it.

meaning that he really does have to be better, if he wants this to be true.

that's more than he's allowed himself in years. maybe ever.

Go on then!

so shions a kind of person tims actually had some experience with at this point - the kind of person thats selfless to the point where it loops back around and turns him into something incredibly high maintenance since hes constantly pouring his energy into helping other people at the blatant expense of himself. tims also intuitive enough to have gathered that shion is an internalizer; when someone says something that shion can potentially interpret as commentary about his own personality, he assimilates it remarkably quickly. tim, for his part, is willing to bet this is liable to be more likely for negative shit than it is for positive shit, since in his experience, people like shion dont tend to acknowledge their assets half as well as they accentuate their flaws.

tims experience with people like frisk, with whom he lives, has made him better about this kind of thing, but his solution thus far has been to tread...carefully. very carefully. he knows that if he says the wrong thing or implies something shion can internalize, it can have very vastly negative repercussions.

he can look at shion and understand that he takes the burden of other peoples flaws and shit and garbage onto himself. if tim says something harsh, its a reflection on shion for eliciting it, and not on tim for saying it in the first place. the way shions talked about him in storytellings and the like has tim both unnerved and kind of...embarrassed? that theres this idea that shion thinks tim is heroic or some kind of good person when tim wholeheartedly believes that he is really, really not. he puts the blame on himself when it comes to social slip-ups like the one that had shion apologizing, but his default is always to just kind of shut down and withdraw and trust that the other party will want nothing to do with him from there on out. obviously that didnt happen, so thats left him...uncertain on how best to proceed. if shion is determined to see the best in tim at the expense of himself, then how does tim rectify that when it seems to be something shions definitely gotten used to doing over a long period of time?

bottom line is tim doesnt know. hes still learning how to take care of the kids hes living with, let alone a bunch of other young people who are maybe not the best mental health wise lmao. the next step would be to start probing very gently to see where this kind of mindset may have originated for shion, but like i said, he knows he has to proceed super carefully so that shion doesnt come away thinking that this reflects poorly on himself. tim also knows that outright asking and pushing doesnt historically yield good results, so his current idea is basically to wait for a window he can capitalize on instead of bringing it up and questioning shion of his own accord.

for all his good intentions, tim is still manipulative as shit in how he navigates social circles. even if its largely benign these days (it isnt always), hes fully fucking aware that shions current positive perception of him will probably serve him well if he needs to start asking questions. the fucker.

Sob this cr is really complex and it's what I enjoy about it.

Tim seems to have a very good grip on Shion's general personality- In contrast Tim isn't like anyone Shion has ever met before. Since leaving his city he has met a bunch of people. Mostly these have either been good, hero types who are friendly open and kind - who get sad and scared and lash out but generally care for others. Or people like Rat or Reno who come across as mercenary, a bit brash, jerkish. Face the world with bitterness but actually are nice people under that and usually their maner is because they are hurting. Or straight out villains.

Tim doesn't fit into any of those broad catogaries and it confuses Shion a lot. He's not like anyone he's ever met. In Shion's mind he's kind and good but claims not to be. He is not open, does not seem to want friendship in the way that Shion has come to understand friendship.

Their cr started on a strange footing- neither of them were at their best or had had much sleep. Tim was injured and though Shion understood his refusal of more help as a selfless action... and the fact that Tim was being stubborn- something stopped him from pushing. And it has continued in that vain. Shion thinks he knows Tim when actually he doesn't know the first thing about him. He understands that Tim is not Okay but whereas Shion is often able to connect with people he struggles to even come to any common ground with Tim.

Some of this stems from how they are very different in their own ways of coping with the world(s)- Shion is a rediculously tactile person for example and so though he can understand and respect the fact Tim doesn't like touch he is lost on any other way to show friendly affection.

Though Tim doesn't fit into the broad catagory of hero Shion still has him as a good person and it will take a lot for Tim to ever disuade him otherwise- he's seen Tim go out of his way to make sure kids have birthdays, he's seen him try and help others even when injured and hurting himself. It would take something dramatic like hurting Aster for Shion to change his mind. He was the only person Connor could name as a friend and that seemed like a big thing to Shion then. Now he knows Connor so much better it is a huge thing.

Because Shion believes that he himself is not a good person and because of the internalising that Shion does- and the fact he is most likely to twist anything to reflect negatively on himself than positively he takes things from Tim harsher than he would from someone who he had not decided was a good, selfless person- part of the reason for the completely overblown reaction at the meeting.

Tim is older than Shion and clearly sees Shion as a kid. Shion is aware of this and is generally messed up about it because he feels that he is old enough to know better and so by seeing him as a child Tim is giving him more leeway than he should but on the flip side he's aware he's a mess and so maybe it's better that he only gets the disappointment from Tim that is softened by the fact Tim has a soft spot for kids.

So yeah it's all muddled but Shion genuinely likes Tim -if he didn't it wouldn't be such a mess.

TIM IS A CAGEY FUCK SHION I PROMISE ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. he always takes Time to get to a point where he can let himself be close to people. its been like over a year for him and hes still not super close to a lot of people - the people he is close to are mostly people hes accidentally shared souls with whoopsie doodles

breathes

OH REN BB

tbh just the way that he met her set it in stone: tim was gonna care about this child. a lot. as a rule, tim is far more compassionate than he gives himself credit for. if he realizes he can relate to someone in some fashion, in whatever way that may be, he will do his damnedest to help in whatever way possible. in this case, it was just seeing rens history that did it: he could relate to that. to growing up in a hospital with doctors shadowing him. his case was vastly different from rens in a lot of ways that cant be ignored, but on a basic level - that sense of pervading loneliness, that sense that youre just something for other people to examine, the dehumanization on an institutional level - he could relate. boy, he could relate.

and of course, ren is a kid. shes young enough to still have a sense of optimism and naiveté that tim never got to hold onto for long. he wants to see her protected, he wants to see that protected. he wants ren to be okay in the way that tim himself never was. he knows how unbelievably shitty it is to grow up in that complete medical isolation and be deprived of a childhood because of it.

shes better off at this point than tim was, because she actually has a support system. but tim can also recognize the warning signs, in how little she wants to actually talk about herself. conversations inevitably skew towards the other party, especially when they come to personal questions, to the point where tim more or less had to trick her into giving her a birthday. he is, particularly in social situations, a manipulative person, even if hes using that skill with the best of intentions.

right now hes happy to give her a little bit of the love and support that he himself never got as a child. its easy if he can couch it in things like showing her fireworks, or how to paint nails, or teaching her about music. its undeniable that he has a great deal of affection for her that goes beyond the fact that he feels responsible in part for giving her a better childhood than he had; shes deeply sympathetic and empathetic, shes kind, shes always genuine, and she sees beauty in things.

tim is antsy when it comes to touch because hes got such bad associations with a lifetime of being handled by medical personnel regardless of how he felt on the matter. maybe its the fact that ren is the furthest thing from a doctor, or the fact that shes a child, or the fact that hes already predisposed to like her based on what he knows of her, or the fact that tim does have a deeply protective streak even if he isnt wholly aware of it, or a combination of all the above. whatever the case, he doesnt mind if she wants to cling to his hand here and again.

he doesnt mind at all.

WHAT IF I DIE!!!! what if tim kills lexy. what if. what will you do then??? you sinner.

i'm so happy about their dumb relationship and they can bond over how doctors are stupid and he's teaching her so much. she's so blessed by this bean.

and the fucks start comin and they don't stop comin and they don't-

AND THEY DONT STOP COMING

where chara is the kind of person tim wishes he couldve been (TO AN EXTENT, i mean more in terms of being able to convert fear into raw spiteful energy instead of murder juice), frisk is closer to the person he actually was, growing up. he spent most of his life very isolated - without friends, without peers his own age, and without much company besides doctors and an imaginary friend that occasionally set his nerves on fire in his sleep. he became quiet and more restrained as a result; internalize and compartmentalize and learn to shut your preferences and wants down, because those really don't matter. learn to prioritize what other people expect of you, and adapt so that you can issue the best possible answer that will net you the result you want (perhaps a good ending...or being let out on good behavior), and not necessarily because it's something you want, but rather something that will mark a deviation from the crushing monotony of day-to-day existence.

ive said it before and ill say it again: if tim can relate to you in some fashion, his desire to try and make a positive difference increases a thousandfold. he doesnt necessarily know how to go about doing that, and in the process is a thousand times just as likely to bungle it as he is to succeed. mostly he just knows that it was utter hell for he himself to endure what he did all alone, and he wants to make sure that anyone whos potentially dealing with the same isn't, at the very least, alone while theyre struggling, the way he was.

the problem there is that frisk is a much more difficult person for him to read compared to, say, ren, who more or less displays a lot of her emotions in a way tim can readily interpret, or chara, who tim has the unique advantage of having bumped souls with and therefore can say he knows a lot more intimately than he should. hes conscious of the fact that frisk is an internalizer by nature, meaning hes hyperaware that what he says has the potential to hold a lot of weight. hes also extremely aware of the fact that hes an adult (a human adult no less) and therefore potentially an authoritative figure, and from what he knows about the determination kids, this is liable to hold a lot more negative influence than it is positive. charas easier for him, because their refusal to tolerate any kind of bullshit that reminds them of that means that he immediately knows when and how he has fucked up. frisk is harder because, as he knows from experience, theyre not liable to assert how they feel about something if they can help it.

theres always a lot of associated guilt when tim feels like hes backed into a corner in regards to the kids, because he does what he does with the full knowledge of what kind of memories it might bring up: when he shouts, or when he touches either of the kids without their explicit consent. he knows that frisk isnt fragile, exactly, but he doesnt think they prioritize their own wants, needs, or desires very high at all. he has no idea how to set about exploring the extent to which they might be numb to themself or what they actually want. the easy solution would be to ask, but if it were that simple, we wouldnt all be where we are now lol.

on the other hand, he hasnt violated frisk's soul the way he unintentionally did chara's or asriel's. this is good because it means he doesnt have to deal with THAT fucking loaded gun, but it also means theyre that much harder for him to intuit. he doesnt think they obscure themself by nature; he thinks theyre just used to defaulting to the preferences of others so often that its become their instinct. their forgiving nature is just as much a boon to him as it is a detriment: he simultaneously would like for them to develop a firmer threshold for other people's bullshit and assert their own sense of self more often, but is highkey scared that them doing so will mean theyll come away reading him as he reads himself - as an unwanted liability to be kept around out of pity and necessity for a cover story, and not much else.

tim calls that selfishness, an unwillingness to let go of a good thing in his life even when he thinks they would be better off not being in his.

here on the other side of things, i hear we call that determination.

hey zero... what the Fuck

I still can't believe they're going to end up making the fucking Denny. Not Denny's. Just Denny.

HELL YEAH THEY ARE

its impossible to talk about muffet without touching on the context that the first time he really knew who she was it was through chara's memories and then through asriel's. tim understood her as a dangerous enemy, a cunning businesswoman, and someone whose priorities were...skewed. but then again, the flash-flood of memories he gleaned from the kids arent memories he intentionally plumbs anymore; hes never gone back for a second look if he could help it. meaning that tims initial understanding of muffet was primarily shaped through the lens of his interactions with frisk and chara in real time: namely as one of the few threats to the security of the promise of erasure, which tim himself has a very vested interest in.

so he was way warier about her than he really needed to be considering how much of a generally positive influence shes been to the kids and just to the island as a whole. shes committed, shes practical, she gets shit done, and when someone isnt lying to her or paying her off to attack children, shes actually a pretty nice lady, whoda thunk it. tim doesnt trust super easily, and id be lying if i said that he just Trusts her innately because he trusts maybe three entire people on this damn island, maybe two and a half? but he does respect her, and he has faith in her as this solid fucking dependable rock of generally well-adjusted aptitude.

the fact that shes willing to help tim out with this denny thing is tims manipulative streak coming to bear a little bit tbh because his reasons behind establishing denny are so that he can tap into the interpersonal heart of how most people here interact with one another and just generally keep his ear to the ground as far as information goes. but also given that shes pretty ruthlessly competent and intensely socially shrewd? its possible she might get where hes coming from.

id say shes the one person hes got on this project who hed be most likely to share that with - his reasons for actually enacting this idea. he knows its objectively a bad reason to do anything but he figures that shes most likely to see the possibility of wisdom behind it.

Muffet appreciates that respect- and yeah, it's fair to say that she's a much nicer person when she views you as 'ally, possible friend' and not 'deadly threat to my people'.

She absolutely has picked up on the potential strategic usefulness of the Denny, and was probably aware of it from the get go, but doesn't necessarily see that as a bad thing? Like, she prefers to engineer situations where her getting what she wants also leads to everyone else benefiting, and this is one of those- everyone else gets an easy source of food and entertainment, something to keep them a little more happy and together, and the people involved in running it get a way to keep an eye on things. (Because if Tim thinks he's the only one who's going to be using this to stayed tuned in to the local mood, he's got another thing coming.)

She also has plans to use it as potential emergency storage/shelter in case people end up needing somewhere to take refuge on the island at some point.

sup bruh

HEY BUILDING BUDDY WHATS GOOD

tim generally likes ed! he likes ed in this politely neutral way though ed being a pretty solid contributor to denny has definitely improved tims overall picture of him. hes been fucking instrumental to getting the place up and running by transmuting materials and shit so tims got a decent amount of faith in ed. ive touched on this in other responses but sadly tim just isnt predisposed to trust by rote. thats paranoia babes!! but on the other hand, ed being this monsterbomination has next to no bearing on tims conceptualization of him, since tim has met weirder shit by now so hes just kinda at the stage where he can shrug and go "k cool" in regards to that.

he also has...failed to recognize that ed has a drinking problem whoops. tim has no experience with drinking problems in part because tim himself literally cant drink alcohol so he doesnt actually know that putting ed in charge of the alcohol at denny might have the potential to be a Fucking Problem whoops lol. IF TIM RECOGNIZES THAT he'll probably...wanna do something about that tbh. he likes you better functioning ed, not an inebriated mess.

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tl;cr meme

Tim Wright | Marble Hornets

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